Desert Star Read online

  Raylene slapped her hand on the small table, causing the pile of quarters she had just stacked to fall, most of them onto the floor.

  “Now look what the hell you made me do. I’m asking the questions. How come you’re home so late?”

  “I just told you, Mom.”

  “You should have called.”

  “Why? You’re never here at this hour.” Larsen knelt down and began picking up the quarters from the carpet and putting them back on the table.

  “Well, just so happens that I went in four hours early today to help out a co-worker. She had a doctor’s appointment. Pregnant. I worked early, and she worked late. Okay, Mr. Nosy?”

  Larsen placed the last of the quarters on the table and stood up to face Raylene. “If you were worried, how come you didn’t call my cell?”

  Waiting for an explanation, he heard the flush of a toilet. He looked down at the floor in disgust. His mother had brought home a new man. Another stranger.

  Larsen was disgusted. “Oh.”

  Raylene sat up straight in her chair. “Don’t you be ‘ohing’ me like that. Larsen, meet Reggie Lee White.”

  Larsen turned to see a large, black, brawny man coming from the only hallway in the small two-bedroom apartment. The man eyed Larsen as if he were the intruder in his home.

  Larsen wasn’t about to let the strange man take control so easily. “What the—”

  Raylene grabbed the wad of bills from the table and stuffed them into her bra. “I hope you weren’t planning on disrespecting our guest. Especially when I’ve asked him to help you.”

  “Help me do what?”

  Reggie walked behind Raylene and faced Larsen. “Evenin’, son. Your mama’s told me all about you.” Reggie leaned in and began to massage Raylene shoulders. “This feel good, baby?”

  Raylene purred. “You know it does.”

  Refocusing on Larsen, Reggie altered his stance and stood tall. “See son, I drive trucks. All over the country. It’s a good living. Your mama said you needed some help planning for your future. Well, I can help you get started. Tell you everything you need to do to be a trucker. By the time you graduate, you’ll have a career waiting. A good one. Make an honest living.”

  Larsen rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”

  “I don’t play, young man. Not when it comes to earning the almighty dollar.”

  No. You just play when it comes to hopping into bed with my mom. You probably haven’t even known her for twenty-four hours.

  Raylene impatiently waited for Larsen’s response. “Answer the man. Thank him for his generous offer. Go on.”

  Defiantly, Larsen looked into the eyes of the stranger. “Thank you for your generous offer. But I have no interest in being a truck driver.”

  Reggie looked at Raylene, then again at Larsen. “It’s a job for a real man. You have a problem with being a real man?”

  Larsen challenged Reggie with his eyes. “No, not at all. I am a real man.”

  Raylene leaned back in her chair and threw up her hands to the sky. “Oh, Lord, there he goes again. Telling those damn lies on himself.”

  Larsen was quick to protest. “I am a real man, Mom.”

  Shaking her head, and waving him off with her arms, Raylene disagreed. “Real men don’t stick their johnsons into other men.”

  “Yeah, they do. But for the record, I haven’t had sex yet.”

  “And that’s exactly why I want you to drive a truck.”

  “So I can be a gay truck driver?”

  Emphatically, Raylene slammed her hand on the table as the quarters fell to the floor again. “I give up!”

  Larsen sighed. He was so tired of the same argument, but tonight his mother was having it for the sake of the stranger she had brought home. “Mom, I could go the rest of my life and never have sex. And I’d still be gay. I could drive a fleet of trucks, and I’d still be gay. It’s who I am.”

  Reggie shrugged, as if to say to Raylene, I tried, he’s your problem, then took a seat on the old black leather couch.

  Larsen started to head for his bedroom, but his mother stopped him. “Go sit on the couch. I’m not done with you.”

  Respecting his mother’s wishes, Larsen took a seat on the couch, as far away as he could from Reggie. “What else, Mom?”

  “Who’s the new friend you have? Another gay boy?”

  “No. He’s not gay. And even if he were, that doesn’t mean I’d like him that way. I mean, you don’t like every straight man you see, do you?”

  Reggie looked as interested in her answer as Larsen.

  “No. Of course not. But that’s different. I am very selective about the type of man I like.”

  “And you think that gay people aren’t selective, right? We just want to do it with anyone of the same sex, right? Well, I’m here to tell you that’s bogus.”

  “Who’s the boy?”

  “River Dalworth.”

  “White boy?”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “You like white boys?”

  “He’s my friend. He’s a cool guy. He stood up for me today.”

  “Stood up for you? What does that mean?”

  Larsen had opened a door he didn’t want to walk through. “Never mind.”

  Reggie turned sharply to Larsen. “Respect your mother. She asked you a question.”

  “Some guys were bullying me at school. Two against one. River stood up for me.”

  Raylene reached down to the floor to pick up the change that had fallen. “Well, I’m glad to hear there are boys at your school with some common sense.”

  Relieved, Larsen smiled. “Yeah, Mom. There are. Riv’s a chill guy. You’d like him.”

  “Not him, stupid. The ones who don’t like gay boys. Maybe they’re the ones to squeeze the gay out of you.”

  It took every ounce of strength for Larsen not to cry in front of his mother and the stranger. He jumped up from the couch, ran into his bedroom, closed the door, and was unable to stop the tears that flowed down his face.

  `*`*`*`

  It had been three days since Gina had mustered up the courage to talk to River, and by Friday, she was determined to try again before the weekend came and went.

  In Mystekal High’s cafeteria, Gina had worked out a plan. With her brown-bagged lunch ready to go, she waited one minute after she saw River take a seat, then walked over and sat down in the empty chair across the table from him.

  “Hey, River.”

  River finished chewing the large bite he had taken out of his sandwich. “Hey, Gina.”

  Nervously, Gina spoke the lines that she had rehearsed. “I wanted to talk to you on Tuesday after school, but then Larsen came along and—”

  “Yeah, the dude went through a lot that day.”

  Gina smiled, trying not to look overly flirtatious, but send her message all the same. “I thought it was really cool the way you stood up for Larsen. I know that a lot of people don’t like the way that Jax and Tonio act, but you’re really the only one to do something about it.”

  “I couldn’t not do something about it. Especially when that kind of stupidity is in my face. Lars doesn’t deserve it. He’s a good guy.”

  Gina could feel her heart pounding. “I really admire you, River. I’ve wanted to get to know you since we were sophomores, but I didn’t think you’d want to know me.”

  Oblivious to the fact that a girl was melting in his presence, River continued to eat his sandwich. “Why’s that, Gina?”

  “Well, because of my sister, Taylor. She was always a real bitch, well, a bully to your sister and Jinxsy. Sort of the way Jax and Tonio are to Larsen. I figured you might think I was just like her. Only I’m not. My sister’s kind of screwed up because my mom wasn’t really there for Tay when she was younger. My mom messed with a lot of drugs, and even after she got clean, Tay never forgave her, and they’ve just never gotten along so hot. Tay moved to LA the day after she graduated. She told my family that if we ever want to see her again, we’ll have to come t
o LA because she’s never coming back to this dusty hellhole.”

  “I remember your sister. And, no, she wasn’t very nice to Jess or the Jinxster. But they handled her all right. What’s she doing in LA?”

  “Working at some vintage clothing store on Melrose Avenue. Living with some much older guy who’s high on weed all the time. Getting high too. Partying. Going nowhere but thinking she’s on the fast track to being a wardrobe person in the movies because celebs come into the store once in a while.”

  “Will that help her? Meeting actors?”

  “Probably not, especially if she’s high all the time. My dad told her she needs to get her you-know-what together and find an apprenticeship or something—you know, get her foot in the door and learn the business. Just because you’re in the same neighborhood as a dream doesn’t mean it’s going to find you. You have to go after it, you know?”

  River put down his sandwich and took real notice of Gina for the first time. Her long, blond, curly hair framed her face nicely, and she had bright blue eyes with a smile to match. “I like what you just said, about being in the same neighborhood as a dream. That’s kind of cool.”

  Gina blushed. “How about you, River? Do you have a dream? What are you going to do after we graduate in June?”

  “I draw shit. Well, mostly people. I’m an artist.”

  Laughing, Gina tried not to make her infatuation any more obvious. “Right, I’ve seen some of your work. You’re not good, you’re freakin’ amazing. Have you been drawing all your life?”

  “Yup. So, how about you? What do you want to do?”

  Just as Gina was about to respond, she gasped as she glanced over at the kids waiting in line for a hot lunch. River turned to see what she was looking at with such horror.

  As Larsen was telling the cafeteria supervisor, Kathryn Winterstrom, what he wanted to eat, Jax and Antonio were positioning themselves on either side of him, squeezing against him until he fell to the floor, his salad tumbling on top of him. Jax and Antonio, mission accomplished, laughed as they left the line and hurried out of the cafeteria.

  Looking up, angrily brushing salad out of his face, Larsen saw that River was ready to jump to his defense. He tried to wave him off. Not picking up the signal, River rose to help his friend.

  Gina, very aware of what Larsen was trying to convey, spoke quickly. “River, wait!”

  “What, Gina? I’ve got to help my friend.”

  “No, Riv. This time you’ll help him more by doing nothing. The damage is already done. He can get up on his own. If you rush to his side, people will start saying even more—”

  “Even more what?”

  Angry that she let it slip, Gina struggled to mask her own words. “People will start saying even more cruel stuff to Larsen. That’s all.”

  Now fully tuned into her station, River wasn’t buying it. “Nope. That’s not what you were going to say at all. Kids have been spewing crap about me and Lars, wondering if I’m gay because I’m friends with the guy. Am I right?”

  Gina looked downcast. “Yeah.”

  “Gina, it’s okay. Just because you told me that, it’s not like I blame you. And it’s not like I’m surprised, either. Think I don’t know that the addled brain misfires? Well, I do. People can talk all the bullshit they want, and it won’t change who or what I am. You were right to stop me. Lars knows how to get up all by himself. Bullshit just makes my brain misfire sometimes. And for the record, I do like girls.”

  `*`*`*`

  Distraught by what she had just witnessed, Kathryn called a coworker to take over her duties and raced from behind the counter to help Larsen.

  Handing him a moist towel to wash off the salad, Kathryn looked as if she wanted to cry. “I’m so sorry, son. If I had been on this side of the counter when those boys did that, it wouldn’t have been a pretty sight.”

  Embarrassed, Larsen didn’t want to make a big deal of it. “It’s okay, Mrs. Um …”

  “Winterstrom. Kathryn Winterstrom. And you are …?”

  “Larsen Davis, ma’am.”

  “It’s my pleasure to meet you, Larsen Davis. Let me get you some lunch. On the house.”

  “That’s okay, Mrs. Winterstrom. Jerks like that kind of make a guy lose his appetite.”

  “No, no. You must have something. I certainly understand if you don’t want to sit here in the cafeteria. But how about if I make you a nice sandwich to slip into your backpack? If you get hungry later, between classes, you’ll have something to eat. It would make me feel a lot better.”

  Larsen smiled. “Sure.”

  “I’ll tend to that right away. And you listen to me. If you ever have any problems, and you don’t want to involve the other kids, you come find me. I couldn’t be more serious.”

  “I really appreciate it. You know, it really sucks having those guys bully me, but I try to find the good in things, and, well, because of them I have met some of the nicest people in this school.”

  “It’s called looking for the silver lining, and it is a wonderful philosophy to have about life. I wish …”

  Kathryn stopped speaking in midsentence, and her eyes filled with tears. Larsen knew there had to be a very good reason. But that would be for another day.

  “Let me go make your sandwich. Give me five minutes and meet me over there. At the end of the counter. How does that sound?”

  “Great. Thank you.”

  Gina, seeing that Larsen was on his way over to River, decided to leave the two friends to talk. Pumped about how well her conversation had gone with River, she was already dreaming about the next time.

  `*`*`*`

  “I hope everyone’s written the essay I assigned on Monday. Vanesa, will you please collect everyone’s work and bring it to me?”

  Vanesa Chavez rose from her chair. “Sure, Ms. Carrow.”

  Jax let out a sigh to inform everyone, especially Eve Carrow, that he was bored. “What were we supposed to write about?”

  Eve, who was known for her usually cheerful demeanor, tried to hide her annoyance. “Lord of the Flies. You were to share your thoughts on why we make the choices that we do. Why do some choose civility and others savagery? Is that ringing any bells? I know it’s been four very long days since I assigned the essay.”

  Jax twisted his face. “You being sarcastic, Ms. Carrow?”

  “I’ll leave that to you to figure out, Mr. Reinhardt. And I’m not going to repeat the entirety of the assignment. If you did it, then you know exactly what I asked for. If you didn’t do it, you’ll get a big, fat F.”

  Jax looked over at Larsen and whispered. “F as in faggot?”

  Larsen looked straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge the ugly words.

  Barely keeping her composure, Eve took the papers from Vanesa, then turned to address Jax. “Was there something you said to Larsen that the entire class should hear?”

  River shot a warning glance at Jax, who opted out of Eve’s offer. “Nope. I’m good.”

  Gina smiled as she made note of River’s quiet threat to protect his friend.

  Eve leafed through the essay papers. “Well, looks like you’ve done the work after all, Mr. Reinhardt. Let’s see what you had to say.”

  All eyes were upon Eve as she scanned Jax’s essay. The shaking of her head and the biting of her lip didn’t bode well. “What the heck is this nonsense?”

  Antonio laughed. “What did you write, Jax?”

  “Just that it’s hard to be civil when degenerates and homos walk among us.”

  Jerome Lincoln turned sharply to Jax. “I’d agree with that, Reinhardt, because I’m finding it really difficult to be civil to a degenerate scum like you. So maybe you’ve got a point.”

  “You black dudes just stick together. You got a thing for Davis?”

  “No. Just got a thing for decency. Now, why don’t you shut your mouth. You have no right to spew that kind of nasty shit.”

  Jax nodded defensively. “First Amendment says differently.”

 
; Eve, taking a deep breath, took control of the conversation. “Aren’t we all lucky to live in a country where our right to free speech is protected? That right is something that many of us take for granted because we’ve never known otherwise. But in this world, people are killed for saying a lot less than you just said, Jax. And while I respect our Constitution, you’re going to respect the rules of my classroom. This is a bully-free zone. This entire school is a bully-free zone.” Eve looked over at Larsen, who hung his head. “At least it should be.”

  Jax sat up straight, ready for a confrontation. “Really, Ms. Carrow? That’s funny coming from the daughter of the biggest bully of them all.” Jax turned to Vanesa. “Principal Carrow hated your sister, Sophia, didn’t he? Wasn’t he going to behead her or something for chewing gum? Didn’t like Mexicans, either. When we were in the tenth grade, he told Tonio that the whole lot of them ought to be sterilized until they die off.”

  River noticed that Antonio looked shaken as he recalled the former principal’s vile words.

  Jax turned to his best friend. “Go on, Tonio. Tell Ms. Carrow what else her old man did.”

  Antonio, now looking sick to his stomach, waved Jax off.

  Vanesa turned to Jax. “I hate the way Mr. Carrow treated my sister and everyone else. But that’s not Ms. Carrow’s fault. She suffered more than anyone. So get off her case.”

  Jax laughed. “Ass kisser. Pucker up. Lips on butt. Mwwwah!”

  Eve glared at Jax. “My father was a horrible man. I will never know what made him so evil; I only know that he was the cruelest human being I have ever known. And, ironically, you’ve unintentionally made a very good point about the subject of our essay. It is well known that William Golding wrote Lord of the Flies because he was deeply affected by the brutality and violence he saw in the Second World War, when he served in the Royal Navy. He participated in the invasion of Normandy, and for those of you who pay attention in history class, you’ll understand the profound effect that an experience of that magnitude would have on any human being with feelings.

  “But Golding didn’t brutalize people because he witnessed it. He recreated the horrors that haunted him only by writing about them. I wish my father had simply written about the demons that plagued him. But he didn’t. Instead, he chose to live a hate-filled life, torturing people with his words, and killing them, too.”